Cookie Chaos,Confrontation, and Crazy-fun!

This is long, so grab some coffee - or whatever, and settle in!

I was nervous on Saturday morning - I have no real idea why, but I suspect that it is because I know this cookie contest is really rather chaotic and unorganized. I am not cool with that - my mind just works in such a way (apparently, I'm a Fieldmarshal) and I have little tolerance for an obvious lack of structure. Couple this with the fact that this is a competition and you can begin to see my discomfort. As you may recall, last year the "rules" for the 2 and under age bracket were that they get credit for each bite of cookie they take. My question for LJ's judge was, "is it bites of the same cookie or bites of different cookies?" - this person had no idea, so LJ ended up taking bites out of 27 different cookies. I realize that this is for charity and for fun, so I don't want to get too crazy about the structure, but it is a contest - with kids who are at varying levels of understanding what I contest is, so I think *some* structure is warranted. Perhaps I'll suggest that a parent of a competitor sit in on some of the planning meetings as that perspective is probably really valuable and lacking. Ok, so on with the day...

Once again, as I suspected, the contest was rather disorganized and chaotic! It was better than last year, but this year there were WAY more competitors, so the relative chaos was the same, if not greater. PJ's competition went fine, overall. There were a few glitches such as: they didn't have high chairs ready to go (this is sponsored by a restaurant, so they have high chairs) and then they didn't have enough. This age bracket is 2 and under - they are going to need a high chair. The one lady who appeared to be the most in-charge said I could hold PJ in my lap. I kind of laughed and said we'd do that if needed, but I'd prefer a high chair. She asked why - as if she thought she had given me a better option than a high chair. I must conclude she does not have a child or it has been a long time since any of her children were 1...I told her PJ would want to climb all over the table and would probably try to grab other people's cookies...I don't think this is strange behaviour for a 1 year old, but correct me if I'm wrong! We did get a high chair, so it was all good. Once the competition was over, there was no declaration of the winners, there was no "fanfare"...the only thing we were told was to take our kids to get a picture...not even where to take them. So, I got PJ and we kind of walked over to where I think pictures were going to be and asked "who won?" One other parent said that they think PJ won...this is what I thought too. So, I told a lady with a clip board that I think PJ won, but she might want to check with someone "official"...she just wrote in on her clip board. I can't really remember how PJ got his medal - I think we saw a person with medals and said, "I think PJ won, but you might want to check with someone official" and they just handed me a medal. All rather anti-climactic, but PJ doesn't know the difference, so I guess it doesn't really matter.

Now it was time for LJ's bracket. I get LJ all settled in his assigned seat - number 16 out of 16, so he is at the end of a long banquet table. Then, a mom with her daughter, comes up to the lady who seems to be the most in-charge and says, "my daughter was put in the wrong age bracket, she's 6, so she should be in this group." - she wasn't too confrontational about it, but her choice of words wasn't "I think there might have been a mistake...can you help me out" - it was "she's going to be in this group". As an aside, this age bracket thing was also very confusing and it shouldn't be...the registration form says 3-6, but the list of competitors they made and passed out said 3-5 and had the 6 year-olds in the next bracket...see the problem?! So, "in-charge" lady puts this girl in a chair pulled up to the end of the table by LJ, so now LJ and this girl are sharing the same table space. This girl immediately stretches her arms across the table and lays on it...in LJ's space.

They passed out the plates of cookies - 4 cookies on each plate. When they put LJ's cookies in front of him...this girl takes them and pulls them in front of her (her mother is standing there and says nothing). LJ looks at me and starts to ask about the cookies and I say, "it is ok, they'll bring another plate and that one will be yours" - and they did. Then, the "in-charge" lady is having trouble getting enough judges - people who hold a flip chart showing how many cookies their assigned contestant has eaten. A person we know ended up being LJ's judge and the "in-charge" lady ended up being the little girl's judge. I don't know what was going on, but it took forever to start the clock - and these are 3 - 5 (or 6) year olds with cookies sitting in front of them!

Let the cookie eating begin! LJ did great right out of the gate...he ate great bites around the outside of his cookie - he ate his cookies in circles. He is funny that way - does this with sandwiches and toast...he eats the crust first. The little girl - well, I don't' know if someone had given her pointers or if she thought of it on her own, but she stacked 2 cookies on top of each other and started eating! This seemed a smart strategy, but she couldn't really master it and she had trouble with having too much in her mouth and crumbling the cookies in an attempt to hold onto them. Her mother almost immediately started telling her judge, "she's eaten one - flip over the 1...come on, THAT is 1 eaten...." Meanwhile, LJ finishes his first cookie and it is obvious - as it is when the other children have finished their cookies because they eat a whole cookie and there is no major mess of cookie parts all over their plate.

LJ and the boy next to him are pretty much pacing each other cookie for cookie, but I have no idea how the other kids are doing - this table is really long. But, LJ is doing great and seems to be enjoying himself. All is great - this is fun...except for hearing this mom bark at the little girl's judge to flip the next number. Then, it all goes crazy...

The "in-charge" lady says, "I have to go do something" and hands me the flip-chart, "you'll have to be the judge". OK, um...I don't want to be the judge. I'm watching my child. Plus, this lady has already demonstrated herself to be a bit...difficult. But, I'm stuck. So, I look at the girl's plate and it has 1 whole cookie on it and then enough cookies pieces to constitute a whole cookie if not almost 2. My flip-chart says 2 and the mother starts hounding me to flip it to 3. "She needs a 3 - she has eaten 3 cookies." I look down at her plate again and I'm seriously unable to come close to agreeing that she has eaten 3 cookies...she has eaten 2, if I'm being generous, and mangled 1. I say, "I don't know..." and the mom says, "yes, she has - you need to flip it." So, I say, "Maybe you need to get another judge" and I admit, I did not say this with sunshine in my voice! She says, "maybe so", but does nothing about it...but, keep on me about flipping it to 3. The little girl eats enough of the whole cookie that I go ahead and flip it to 3 - to get this lady off my back and so I can watch MY kid - which is what I *want* to be doing. Then, as you can guess, the lady starts hounding me some more. She says that her little girl started with 5 cookies (um, not true. They all started with 4, but someone did come around and put a 5th on their plates at sometime in the competition), so she has eaten 3 for sure. Ok, fine, she has 3 on her flip-chart, so let it go. Then, her little girl starts eating her pieces, but also starts spitting them out onto her plate (which totally distracted LJ) - so, she's not making any forward progress. LJ has finished his 3rd cookie - as has the boy next to him...and they are on their 4th. Time is announced as 30 seconds left, so I'm trying to encourage LJ to shove the last half of his cookie in his mouth! I'm kind of watching little girl, but she's still eating and spitting, so she's not getting anywhere. With a few seconds left, the boy next to LJ shoves the rest of his cookie in his mouth giving him 4 eaten...and LJ had 3 1/2. The boy next to LJ won! So, if LJ would have shoved that last part in, they would have tied! Instead, LJ came in 2nd - which made him happy!

Little girl had a mess of cookie pieces on her plate - some fresh, some rather moist - and the #3 showing on her flip-chart, I was done with her. A reporter came over and asked me if she could interview little girl. I told her that I was not with her - that her mother was (and I looked around)...over there. Her mother was huddled with some friends(?) a few feet away. Not congratulating her child - not even talking to her child...she'd left her child at the table.

I escorted LJ to get his picture taken and he gave a great big smile! His smiling for the camera is a hit-or-miss these days, so he clearly must have been happy! He is excited about his free pizza and is very happy that PJ is the new Cookie King!

The "in-charge" lady found me and asked me if everything is OK. I told her that I'm fine, but she might want to talk to little girl's mother because she might be discontent. The Cookie Queen ate 5 cookies!!! And the 2nd place girl ate 4 - this put little girl, with 3, somewhere out of 1st and 2nd I suppose.

I'm not gonna lie - I didn't want to see that lady anymore and I hoped that they were leaving, but they weren't. She just made me really uncomfortable. I didn't want to be a judge, I don't think I should have been a judge, but if I am a judge - respect my judgement! I think I handled it pretty well and that lady needs to get a grip. Later, I see little girl, and guess what she had around her neck? A medal. A medal! She *clearly* did not win 1st place (the only way you get a medal) - even if I'd have assessed her plate as though she had eaten 4 cookies...the most she could do is tie for 2nd. I have no idea what happened.

Now, we spent our time waiting around for the final competition - who can eat 4 cookies the fastest. RJ and Uncle B and four college students we know had entered. I did not enter this year - I just did not feel like eating that many cookies - I remember how yuck I felt and for how long I felt that way after last year's competition! Plus, last year there was only one winner - not a King and Queen. This year, no one we know came close to winning. The winner and 2nd place person were putting their cookies in a cup of water and then drinking it...may yield success, but is pretty disgusting! But...this year they crowned a King and a Queen - UGH! The 2 girls decided to stop at 3 cookies because neither of them wanted to eat all 4. WHAT????? If I had known there would be a Queen - I totally would have dominated that competition. So, once again - I'm kind of miffed about the "change from last year" that was not really communicated! Unorganized!

Overall, the kids had fun and that is all that really matters! Grandma, Grandpa, and Uncle B came to share in the fun and MawMaw came over to hear the tale. Plus, we have a Cookie King in the house - which means we can enjoy getting a free cookie whenever we want...and sharing it as a family!